STARK: Music

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OLD, HARD LIFE
 2004
Lani Ford


Why am I here?
Will I be here much longer?
Did I just disappear?
Or am I getting stronger?
Will I be all right?
I’ve always been a fighter.
Will I sleep tonight?
Only with the light on.

Why did this happen to me?
I’ve always been a good girl.
So many things I won’t see.
I only wanted the whole world.
Can I beat this disease?
I will give it my best shot.
If I ask pretty please,
Can there really be a god?

So I can beg
Him or her
To take me back to where I was before.
So I can plead
With her or him
To give me back my
Old, hard life again.

Never knew what I had
Till I thought I might lose it.
Hangin’ onto my dad,
Crazy nights spent out boozin’.
Will I ever find love?
Have I learned how to choose it?
I still need my arms
Filled with the warmth of a new kid.

Have I gotten this far
Only to fall down?
Is this only a scar
That will make me much more proud?
A great story to tell
When I live to be 80.
See, this can’t be the deal.
I gotta hold that baby.

So I can watch
Him or her
Take me where I’ve never been before.
So I can treasure
Her or him
And take pleasure in my
Old, hard life again.

So I can treasure
Her or him
And take pleasure in
My wonderful,
Old, hard life again.


(for Deborah)